Sunday, February 11, 2007

Naughty Nannies, Big Bottoms and Dimples, among other things

A friend of mine loves her naughty nannies. I know...following on the footsteps of the last City Boy entry, you're probably wondering what direction I'm taking you in here...just trust me, you'll love these party girls!

Personally, I prefer my sheep to the nannies. Taffy has been spending a lot of time laying down these days. Not much change in her udder or vulva...still just a little swollen and a little pink. When she begins separating herself from the flock, I'll let you know!




Now, down to the real important business of the day...dimples. I always wanted them. As a child I had freckles and frizzy hair. The latter was brought to my attention by the most popular boy in the fifth grade as we stood in line for lunch one day. He looked across the line and with an ugly sneer called me "Frizzbomb." I had no idea what he meant at the time and had to go home and ask my mom. I was devastated when she told me that he'd been referring to my hair.


I was never one of those cute, perky little girls; I was all gangly legs, scrawny body and freckled frizzdom. And dimple-less. I was certain a set of adorable dimples in my cheeks would make all the difference in the world!


Now, if you've been hanging around here for any length of time (say, a few weeks) you may have read my post on weight...and my wanting to lose a few pounds. This weight that I'd like to lose is in my middle, and maybe a bit in the bust. Listen, I know what you small busted women are saying, but you just don't understand. It's like a peep show anytime we amply endowed women try to put on a button up shirt! So until the clothing industry figures out how to create a shirt that buttons in all the right places, I'm going to need to reduce by an inch or three there.


The waistline is another issue, and all you girls with hips, I'll remind you once again to be thankful, for hips hold up your pants when you've got a thick waist. I've not got a thin waist, but I do have slim hips. Suspenders just don't complete the look I'm wanting when I go out with City Boy, and since my hips don't seem to want to gain evenly with the other parts of my body, slimming the waistline is in order.


Moving on down...there's the little issue of my bottom. It's not big. Not like Big Bottom Bear's bottom. Big Bottom is the bear I made for Darling many years ago. Now, I'm not a seamstress and have never claimed to be. But I swear I put the legs in the place the pattern said to. And yet...well, look for yourself. Big Bottom is fairly cute from the front, but from the back...




As you can see, she leaves a little to be desired. Her bottom is a bit, um, shall we say, saggy? Despite my best efforts at creating a nice, sweet toy for my Darling, I created a bear with a hiney issue.

Despite her obvious issues, I must admit that my tiny hiney is a bit jealous of one aspect of Big Bottom's big bottom. All those years I wanted dimples? Well...now I've got them...

9 comments:

Sue said...

I doubt if I'll ever be thankful for my hips! lol

RoseMary said...

LOL, You are toooo much, Tracey! Loved your post. Sometimes it's just best to laugh at all that extra padding. Like you, though, I'm working on getting rid of some of it. Or I should say I'm planning on working on getting rid of some of it!

The French Nest said...

Your post is hilarious! I have a tiny-hiney, as well, but would love the booty your bear has!

Libbys Blog said...

Thank you for popping over to visit. I have enjoyed reading through all your blogs! I am not a 'horsey' person but am fascinated by your Mustang Diaries Thank you for letting me see a bit of your life!
Libby

smilnsigh said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my photo blog and making a comment. Pleased to meet you. I'll be dropping into yours too, again.

'MN'
http://smilnsigh.blogspot.com/
http://photoscitymine.blogspot.com/

Kentucky Gal said...

Hi Miz Tracey!! Thanks for visiting my blog and this post is a HOOT!!
I was gangly and awkward as a child and let me tell you the dimples don't help all that much...and what is it that we can be that way as children and then...after 27 years or so...we are now voluptious?? Had to laugh at the button up shirts...my flannel pj's...that button up...I need a housecoat...argg!!
:-D

Alpicks Treasures said...

Your sheep look sweet and the bear you made is nice too. Hips, well dont go there with me, both Sue and I got our from Mom...

Gail said...

God has blessed you, I love horses and have always wanted one but at my age...I think I'll give it up! I wouldn't give the whole body thing to much thought, not to say you can't work on it but don't forget "pretty is as pretty does" and it seems you DO PRETTY !

Tracey said...

French Nest, Dahling...you really don't want this bear's booty! It would be like walking with saggy diapers on, as it hangs halfway down to her knees...

Gail, you're too sweet. Sometimes I don't do pretty, but I do try! And I might add, I just purchased a scale for the first time ever in my life. I think it may be the whole mid-life-post-babe crisis thing happening here. I've even taken to putting on mascara! (Shock!)

Glad to have brought a smile or chuckle to everyone.