Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Dating Diaries…

Well, at the urging (aka nagging, whining, blackmailing…) of some of my faithful readers (who, for the moment, shall remain nameless until I get a little dirt on them), I shall tell the story of the Booger Date. I did not want to do it, but it would appear I have little choice in the matter…however, when the dirt is dug up you can be certain that those nameless (for now) readers shall be exposed (that’s not a threat, dearies…it’s a promise!)

So….

Decades ago my mother had a friend who lived just up the road. My sister and I knew there would be no ride home from the bus on sunny days; we’d be walking the half mile up hill while our mother and her crazy friend were out having a blast on their horses. Why would I call the woman crazy? Well, for Christmas one year she gave us a jar of dead goldfish that she’d fished out of our pond. Another year we got a box of road apples…aka, horse poop. Crazy.

This crazy neighbor’s father was one of 12 children. She was the oldest of a whole passel full of cousins. One afternoon my mom, sister and I came home from shopping to find a note on our front door; “Hi, I came over with my 19 year old cousin and his black Porche convertible. Will come back later tonight!” My dad came in from working in his shop to read the note and smiled. “And for who’s benefit do you think she left this note?” he said with a smile and wink in my direction. I’m certain I perfected my eye rolling ability as a teen.

Later that night, true to her word, my mom’s crazy best friend showed up at the door with her bearded cousin and his fancy automobile. I guess she thought it would turn my head. I think he thought it would turn my head. But could it pull a horse trailer? No. In fact, I rather made the off-handed comment that it looked like an elephant had sat on it. I’m not so sure he was impressed with me at that point.

The Porche driving cousin was visiting from California for a week. In that time he borrowed his older cousin’s horse and we went out trail riding a couple of afternoons. And then the inevitable happened…he asked me out on a date. Well, one date wouldn’t hurt, right? I mean, he’d be leaving the next day and I’d never see him again…

As I said, this was decades ago. I was a senior in high school. And what do high school students do on Friday evenings in September? They go to football games. I’m not certain that’s where the cousin had in mind, but that’s where we went. Now, I must admit to the fact that I was not part of the popular crowd at school. No, not even close. And yet somehow we ended up sitting right in front of them. The air was a bit chilly, and I’d been getting over a cold. My nose was beginning to run a bit, and I kept sniffing…trying to keep it from being noticeable.

I don’t recall what was said. Does it really matter? My nose was running. Someone said something funny. I snorted. Snot flew out. Everywhere. People in front of me thought it was raining; I can only imagine the disgust from the popular crowd behind me. I was sure I’d completely grossed out my date. But hey, after tomorrow I’d never see the guy again, right???

Oh, if I’d only known…
And somebody...if you've got a more embarrassing first date story, I'd love to hear it!

10 comments:

Sue said...

You really ought to write a book, "Dating Diaries" with stories from others who could share such tales. Too funny!!! lol

Connie Peterson said...

Never had an embarrasing first date like that, but I did have a date that was the LAST date for the guy. He took me to Homecoming at another college - his alma mater and school to a good friend of mine. I stayed with her in the dorm for the weekend. At the dance, he asked me how I was getting home to my college (4 hours away) ... as he had not planned on going home for a while. Panic!!! My friend's boyfriend and his pals cornered my date and said "you WILL take her home!" They promised that they would get me home if he didn't follow through but he did. A four hour trip with no conversation is BORING!!! But I got home!! Whew! And never spoke to him again.

smilnsigh said...

You are toooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!

'MN'

Rachel Whetzel said...

OMG!LOL *wiping the snot from the computer screen...* Thanks for the morning giggles! You never disapoint!

rachel

RoseMary said...

First place I come in the mornings when I need a good laugh. You are a hoot,Tracey.

Leann said...

yes I do have a date story.I had a big crush on this guy few years older then me.well my best friend was going with his best friend and she set up a date for me with him.he was soooo cute and nice.well we all went riding around in his friends car.we stopped at a hill where there were some apples they said.so we went to the Tree.now my friend climbed up and said Ill shake the tree and some will come down.well I was helping her get up and when she got up on a branch she knocked lose the biggest apple I ever saw.it came down and hit me smack on the top of the head and it wasnt a very fresh apple.it was all mushy inside.I had apple juice running down my face down my neck.my hair was plastered to my face.everyone started to laugh.I felt like a fool.I didnt have anything to clean up with.so I just made the best of it.I said you goofs stop laughing or Ill rub my head on you.they kept it up so I did just that.they took off and said they were sorry.my mom called me apple head after that.I guess the guy thought I had taken the joke pretty good so we went out for a while.but you know that apple was as big a good sized sqwash.does anyone know what kind of apple is that big?if so please tell me.God bless

Beemoosie said...

Too funny, Tracey! It sounds like something that would happen to me, but didn't - was it CityBoy?

My worst was when I wore knee high stockings and we were sitting in the boys living room waiting to leave. Older brother pointed out they were slouched around my ankles. Not hilarious, but devestating at the time.

cityfarmer said...

My dad told my first date..."Joy has some morals and I expect you to help her keep them"....I am so thankful for a Dad who said it like it is...

Tracey said...

City, your father had excellent advice!

Sue, I'm thinking that you may be on to something here...perhaps another confessions...dating confessions from my readers? Hmmm...may need a terrific prize to get some of you to come clean, eh?

Thanks again to each of you for stopping by today and sharing in my humiliation. I'm certain you're laughing with me, not at me...right?...you're laughing with me?

Alpicks Treasures said...

Your Stories are very good. I love the pictures of the cows.