I stand corrected...

Look close and you'll see a pair of barn owls in the top right corner.
No, they're not Brigget's; they're at a place called Northwest Trek.

Brigget, thank you for clearing that up for me. I had wondered how it was that owl poo was so dry, and also why there was a great deal white birdie poo near the window of your barn. But now I know. Those pellets are not poo. They come out the front of the owl. So I suppose they're owl barf, then? Gary, does that make it better, knowing they're owl barf? Can you go back to eating chicken wings again, knowing that it's owl barf, and not owl poo? I hope so, as I was up all night worried about you and your chicken. Okay, maybe not.

I'm wondering...did you all have a wonderful day yesterday? Did your loved ones give you everything you deserve? Chocolate? Flowers? Did you have a romance filled evening? Well, I didn't. City Boy didn't bring me a single thing. Not a single thing! And after I labored over that poem for him. Sniff. Okay, I'm not really sniffing and whining. I'm plotting my revenge.

But in the absence of anything sweet from City Boy, Darling and I decided we'd make something sweet for ourselves. We went to the store and looked through some magazines, finding ourselves coming home with enough ideas (and ingredients) to send us into diabetic comas.

Now, I know you probably have had your fill of all the 'this is how to make the BEST. EVER.' kinda recipes over the past few days. So I'll ease your mind a bit and let you know that nothing I cook is the best. ever. Not even remotely close. And my baking skills are sadly lacking as well. But you may enjoy this just the same.

First thing you do is grab your kid and let them know they'll get to bake a cake tonight. They'll be appreciative. Trust me.

Then you need to decide what cake you want to bake. Lemon? Okay. Grab the cake box. Carefully read the directions on the back so you know how many eggs and how much oil you'll be needing.

Lemon cake mix. Yummy!

You'll need to grab a cake pan; be careful not to drop your camera as you reach for it. You'll also want to get a bowl.

Oh...sorry. Darling says not a bowl with holes in it.

There, that's a better bowl. If you're up for the challenge, leave a few of the things from dinner out on the counter. They create a bit of clutter, but add to the color, making it seem cheerier. I wouldn't recommend this to first time cake mixers, though, as you may confuse the mustard for oil or the pickles for eggs...not a good thing.

Empty contents of cake mix package into the bowl. The bowl without the holes. Measure and add oil (below.)

Carefully crack eggs, avoiding getting egg shells in your batter mix. If you do, don't sweat it; just tell you family it's a good calcium supplement.

Doesn't Darling do good work?

Now, mix it all together. Darling tells me this is why it's important not to have holes in your bowl, or your batter mix may seep out. Okay. I'll try to remember that. But no guarantees (hey, this is getting way too complicated for me!)

Carefully pour your batter into the pan. You may need three hands for this, as the bowl full of batter is heavy. Once you've got it into the pan, you should realize you've got the wrong size pan and you need to grab the other one.

Transfer batter to second pan.

I forgot to tell you to preheat the oven. If you forgot you had to do that, this would be a good time to turn it on. Since Darling has her back turned to turn on the oven, now would be a good time to sneak a bit of the batter and lick your finger.

Once the oven has preheated, you'll want to put your cake into it. There are likely directions telling you how long to leave your cake in for. Don't bother. You'll be able to tell if you've over baked it by the smokey smell and the smoke detectors going off. I'd post pictures, but in the heat of the moment, the camera was rather forgotten in an effort to save the kitchen.

Let's just say we won't have to worry about this being The. Best. Cake.Ever!