Thursday, February 8, 2007

Evil Empires and SUVs


I’m sitting here drinking my hot chocolate this morning from City Boy’s coffee cup. It’s one he got from work, and up until now I’ve never used it. No particular reason, it’s just that it’s his. I really like the color, and it’s one of those big, soup bowl kinda cups, you know? It’d probably be wonderful with chowder in it. It was just too tempting this morning, so I had to fill it up with my super extra heaping spoonfuls of chocolate.

The mug, aside from having a lovely cobalt color and wonderful shape, has the logo of City Boy’s employer on it…the Evil Empire! Why would my dear husband work for an evil empire? Well, because the pay is good, silly! The Empire is actually Tesoro, where they refine crude oil into gasoline so the rest of us can go zoom zoom zoom in our little (and not so little) cars and trucks, warming up the planet as we go. Yes…City Boy works for one of those monstrous refineries responsible for global warming (oh my!) Just imagine how cold you’d be if it weren’t for the Evil Empire! So while you sit there freezing your hiney’s off this winter in sub-freezing weather, you can think of City Boy and his job, and please send the thank you’s to me here, I’ll pass them along to him and the rest of the little evil weevils that work there.

And while we’re on the subject, the more you drive, the warmer it will get out there, so hop into those farm trucks and your SUV’s and drive around the block a time or two. Not only will that help with the heat issue, but it’ll keep City Boy employed!

Speaking of SUV’s, I really miss mine. My Sheep Utility Vehicle, that is. Oh, sure, I can pop the sheep into the bed of a pick up and call it an SUV, but there was something special about driving around with sheep in the back of your Volvo station wagon. Truly, there was! Okay, the sheep burps were a bit much. If you’ve never smelled one, consider yourself fortunate. If you think your husbands farts after eating potato salad are bad, let me assure you they’re not. I’d rather smell those than have a sheep put her face up alongside mine while I’m driving down the freeway and belch. Sheep, after all, are ruminants, and they’re always spitting their food back up from their stomachs in the form of cud to chew again. I love my sheep, but burps are one thing I could do without.

So why is it I’d miss driving with them in my SUV? Simply because of all the looks we’d get going down the road, dearies! I mean, the trip through the drive-thru windows were priceless. “Would you like a doggie bone?” “Um, no thank you, it’s a sheep” “No, it’s a dog bone” “Yes, I understand that, but this is a sheep.” Then of course the sheep would baaa (or belch) and grab the attention of the drive thru attendant, who’d scream, and every employee would come running to see what was wrong. We’d wait a good five minutes for everyone to inspect the dog, and of course they’d come to the conclusion that it indeed was not a dog and certainly couldn’t have a doggie bone. In the meantime, all the people lined up behind us and those inside would be wondering what in the world was going on. It always made for an amusing little outing.

My chocolate is now empty, so I'd better get ready to take on the day. Think I'll take a long, pointless drive and do my part to increase global warming :)

9 comments:

Beemoosie said...

Thank you to City Boy for keeping warming it up to 5 degrees!

We need you in this town...I would love to see some of the looks on "ladies" faces as they see you and your sheep bopping down the road! Priceless...

Gail said...

I'm returning the visit, I just read almost all of this blog, thought I'd check out your others! I loved reading your posts. I've always wanted a horse, I have cats, only 4 now. We moved to north Fl. about 3 years ago, on 3 acers outside of town. This is sheep & goat country and after reading this, I NEED ONE.

Tracey said...

No, no, Gail dah-ling...you need two! Sheep are best kept in pairs, so they've got a buddy. Unless you want a bottle baby to raise inside the house (not recommended, as city boys in general just don't get the whole farm animal sleeping in the bedroom concept!) Glad you enjoyed yourself here :)

Moosie, I can arrange for you to have your very own sheepie to transport...and I assure you nearly any vehicle can be converted into an SUV. And so glad City Boy has helped you with the temps there :)

2 LMZ FARMS said...

Glad to see someone else uses their car to haul livestock. I have hauled 5 goats in my malibu. haha Then again, I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone so they all think I'm weird anyway. What do they know???
Laura

Alpicks Treasures said...

You always sound so busy? Do you ever take a day for yourself? I love the aminals, they all looks so content. My goat always has that look as long as she know that food is in her future. Have a good day!

Tracey said...

A day for me? What would I do? Oh, yeah...I'd sit at the computer and talk to y'all! Then you'd get bored real quick like and I'd never hear from you again. (sniff) Well, we mustn't have that. I'd better stay busy!

RoseMary said...

What a great way to drink hot chocolate. Well, any way is a great way, but the more the better. I've never had a sheep belch next to me, but I did raise goats for years, so I get the idea!

cityfarmer said...

I am sorry to say I have an suv...selling antiques it's either that or a junker pickmeup and I chose suv.....it is 5 years old and I will drive it along time my DH says....

Tracey said...

City, why on earth are you sorry? You're just doing your part to warm poor Moosie up :)

Rosemary, you are so right...there is no wrong way to drink hot chocolate. Well, I can't imagine doing it standing on my head, as it may dribble up my nose and I'm not too sure I'd like that. But yes, the more chocolate the better!