Hello, my name is Rufus; code name Mr. Fluffy Pants. I'm head of security here at Carpenter Creek Farm (yes, it is a farm, City Boy!) It's my job to ensure the safety of all occupants, from those stinky sheep outside to the silly humans in the house.
My day begins with a good whining to get out the door in the mornings. I have two trusty deputies, Rocket and Tait. These two deputies are all business, never leaving their posts to goof around; I know I can trust them. Together, we secure the perimeter of the property, chasing off squirrels, crows and field mice. Occasionally the neighbor dogs across the creek will bark at us as we go about our duties. This issue must be addressed swiftly so that they do not upset the apple cart. I've never seen an apple cart here, but we wouldn't want to upset it if there was one. So we bark back at the neighbor dogs. Soon the entire valley is ablaze with barking, and we know we've done our job well as the Mrs. will then call us in.
Once we've ensured that the perimeter is secure, I allow my deputies to come inside for a bite to eat. But we are always on guard, watching through the window for any sign of disturbance, such as that man in the big brown truck that is always leaving suspicious packages at our door. We do not like that, not one little bit! It's a rough life, being head of security for a farm. One must always be on the lookout for potential danger. I just wish they'd give me a better haircut so I could actually see what's going on!