City Boy and Pretty Ponies

Or...Another Lesson in How to Get What you Want

With What You've Already Got

City Boy is a little nervous. He’s just finished several 12 hour night shifts at the Evil Empire. Like a dutiful and loving wife, I’ve made sure the bed has been warm and inviting when he returns home at 7 am, greeting him with a kiss (or two or three) before he drifts into a peaceful and contented slumber. Since this was his last shift before switching back to day time living, he’s decided to sleep just a few hours. And of course, still being dutiful and attentive, and wishing my man not to become a grumpy gus after such a little amount of sleep, I’m giving him little love pats and being all affectionate when he gets up.

And this is why he’s nervous and calls Darling into the room, meaning I have to keep my hands to myself. But I’m getting ahead of myself a bit here. Let’s back up a week or two…or even a year or so.

As previously confessed when I spoke of being a Desperate Horsewife, I’ve become somewhat of an expert in getting what I want around here. For instance, I wanted sheep, so took City Boy to see a truck for sale, and there just happened to be sheep for sale as well. He thought a couple wouldn’t be bad to mow the field with, and so I came home with sheep and a truck. A year later City Boy was scratching his head, wondering how we ended up with 12 sheep in the field. Well, that’s simple, they multiplied, just like we did City Boy! We began as two, but we’re now four. Sheep have twins, so of course there are more of them… Somehow the numbers weren’t adding up, but he was familiar with multiplication technique (which I was promising to offer up a free sample of) so he let it go.

Darling and I wanted a horse, he thought that would be fine, but said we (meaning me) should cut back to two sheep before adding another grazer to the field. So I divided by two and had six sheep, did a little math tutoring and once again explained the whole thing to him, and once again all was well.

When I brought home Tait, the always in trouble aussie pup, I figured I may have run out of math facts. Multiplication wasn’t working so well on this one. And about that new Sunny horse…well, City Boy was becoming suspicious by the time he found her in the corral. He was beginning to notice a pattern. Hmmm…what pattern, City Boy? It’s time for your tutoring session….

Now here he is, with little sleep and very tired, and I’ve decided I want to go out tonight. He’s nervous as all get out as he’s suddenly realized just what’s been going on these past few mornings. He says we can only go to a movie if it’s well lit, to which Darling says, “Why would you want to go to a well lit theater to watch a movie?” And City Boy replies, “Because your mom probably wants to make out or something.” Which brings peels of laughter from both children. “I don’t think you have to worry about that one, Dad,” says Darling.

Which brings us to this morning, when City Boy asks me, “So, is there a third horse out there this morning?” Now, why on earth would he ask me something like that?