Wednesday, March 14, 2007

That Never Happened...

Congratulations, Rachelle, on your winning entry in the photo contest! Winter Whiskers, it is!

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Darling cut her own hair!

I'm the queen of 'That Never Happened'. Really, I am. I never snorted boogers all over people while on a first date. I never dropped my cell phone in a public toilet and got caught fishing it out. And I certainly never go outside where truck drives can see me in my flannel pj's walking barefoot through muddy horse paddocks. No...these things never happened. Never.

Darling and Rufus

Today turned out to be quite lovely, despite the snow on the hill and chilly air. Darling and I decided to bring the dogs into town and walk along the old railroad tracks through Whatcom Falls Park. It's a lovely place; so picturesque and tranquil.

Now, I've not mentioned it before, but Darling has a habit of running into things. Little things, like walls, for instance. Fortunately for her, there were no walls out in the park. Unfortunately for her, there were trees. "That never happened," she said. That's Darling's second most favorite phrase. As I told her this afternoon, half of her life hasn't happened. She has no idea what I'm talking about, pleading complete ignorance. I really have no idea where she comes by such denial.
Someone is walking backwards...
Either the dogs are very talented, or perhaps it just never happened...



Hurry! She's old, we can outrun her!

While we're on the subject of Darling's favorite phrases...her most favoritist (is that a real word? The Grammar Nazi will come for me if it isn't) phrase is, "I was adopted, wasn't I. Please tell me I was adopted." I'm not really sure why she'd think that. We've always been very honest with Darling in terms of where she came from. Some years ago we sat her down and told her that, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they call the travelling pig gypsies who always have a supply of extra children. Pig Gypsies are always willing to barter a bit, so we traded a shiny bottle cap to them in exchange for a new daughter. To which Darling responded, "I was adopted."



Young Redwinged Blackbird pulls seeds from cattails growing in the pond.


Our walk this afternoon, as I mentioned, was along the old railroad tracks. Prior to entering the park, they travel past Scudders Pond, a gloriously swampy piece of water full of cattails, bullfrogs and mosquitoes. I told Darling how one early morning I'd decided to go for a stroll along this same trail. It was something like 6 am, probably not the safest time for a young woman to be out walking alone. That thought hadn't occurred to me until I'd been out there for half an hour and noticed that the only people I was meeting were a handful of male joggers. I was beginning to get just a bit nervous, imagining the worst each time I heard their crunching footsteps approaching me from behind. I'm sure they noticed my jumpiness, too, as I'd turn quickly around so as to get a good look at their faces just in case I lived through the attack.

My heart was racing by the time I was out of the woods and back alongside the pond. But I knew I was within sight of the apartments across the pond now; surely someone would be up and hear my screams should worse come to worse. Just as I was letting that thought slip through my head, my fears were realized. I was attacked from behind! I let out a scream; I'd been hit on the top of my head! I fell forward, the palms of my hands hitting the gravelled trail. I recall wondering briefly why I hadn't heard them come up behind me...

Quickly I attempted getting up to flee...or fight... Do you know how awkward it is to turn gracefully when you're on all fours and facing downward? Breathlessly I got up, but there was no one to be seen. I looked around. And then it happened again. Thwunk!!! On the top of my head!! What the heck??

That's when I heard the squawking and chiding from a tree above me... There sat a red winged blackbird, thoroughly ticked off at my hot pink headband!

Oh, sure, they look innocent enough...


I brushed the bits of embedded gravel from my hands, straightened my sweater and looked nervously around to see if there were any witnesses. Thankfully, there were no joggers at the moment. Hopefully, no one was awake over in those apartments to have seen what had just happened. Imagine, being attacked by a silly little bird and having it drive you right down to the ground.

But of course...That Never Happened!


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Now, a quick Taffy update! Here's what she's looking like from behind. Her udder is filling up, but we're not there yet.



Could this be considered Sheep Porn?
(Oh, never mind me...I'm up way past my bedtime!)

16 comments:

Sue said...

Darling did a great job on cutting her hair, how much does she charge? Sheep porn, probably so, watch out now! lol

Anonymous said...

LOL, that silly and very tuff bird! I agree Darling did a great job on her hair!
E-less

Dixie said...

You crack me up! I got attacked by a bat once. Well, he just flew into my hair. But I thought I was being attacked.

Yeah, that's sheep porn. Watch out! The sicko's will be coming by here now.

Darling's hair looks good!

Tina Leigh said...

I love the pictures....looks like yall had a really nice walk!

smilnsigh said...

LOLLLL! LMAO!!! You are so cute and so funny. Yes my Dear, it could be considered sheep pron. And I betcha' there are places on the Net, where you could get money for it. >,-)

::::looks around::::did I type that?::::What am I trying to do?::::Blow my image?!?::::giggles::::

But of course... If anyone sees that... I'll just deny I wrote it. And say those all-purpose words...
That Never Happened!

^_^

Mari-Nanci

grnidlady said...

wonderful photos! how did you teach your dog to walk backwards?! ;)

Tammy said...

gal, you and darling are so funny...I really enjoyed this post "sheep porn" and all!!
:-D

Alpicks Treasures said...

She looks so cute and just like you. Nice pictures, yeah I guess you could call it Sheep Porn.

Jackie said...

LOL sheep porn....just glad to see a sheep backside that is healthy looking without what some do.

Love your fab photos.

Dixie said...

Guess what I just got in the mail!?!

Guess who I'm in love with??

Junior! He's a cutie and the lotion in his honor smells good enough to eat!

Rachelle said...

Oh cool I won! lol.. I umm think I named that pic by default tho since no one else put in a name... What was everyone asleep yesterday? lol

I have to say again, that I just love reading your blog everyday. Darling's hair looks great. Pesky birds... lol I have a few of those. You have an uncanny ability to make common place situations seem totally funny. Keep it up, I love it.

Sheep porn?? lol I think you just have a milk addiction. You seem to like to look at those udders *wink*. Have a great day. Thanks for stopping by my site.

Tracey said...

Yes, it's an udder habit...rofl! Sigh...I just crack myself up...

And Rachelle, there may not have been many entries, but I did get some via email and posted at different forums, plus one other here. Your's wins!

Dixie, so glad you got your prize and that you're in love with Junior! He's the cutest little Kiger mustang.

I'm so glad I haven't shocked you all with my udder profanity here today...giggle...I wonder when the search engines will begin hitting??? Well, I am trying to drive up my viewer hits, after all...(see me rolling my eyes?)

patsy said...

i like your story of the lost cousins.

Yellow Mama said...

Nah, I don't think this is sheep porn...just farm stuff. Beautiful pics.

BTW...cute haircut...

Sheila said...

Enjoyed visiting your blog for the first time. I'm a CafePress shop owner too, and although I have neglected it since Christmas, I find I'm still making a few sales. I wish you lots of sales. And exploring Photoshop (it is PS that you are working in right?) is so time consuming. I spent hours when I first started learning but it was when I took classes at my community college that I really learned.

Belladonna said...

Actually I had never heard of anyone milking sheep, much less making soap from it. Although I do have some goat milk soap, so I imagine this would be quite similar. Go figure.

thanks for stopping by mind-muffins and giving me an excuse to come over to discover your blog.