It's time to shed a few...

Taffy and Baron Von Milchschaf

Taffy is a great mother! As hard as it's been raining, the other sheep still venture outside during the day to graze a bit. Taffy would normally do the same. And while her shed has been open to allow her such a treat, she's kept her boys tucked safe and dry inside. I've had other ewes stupid enough to lamb outside in weather like this! Today the sun came out, and Taffy brought the boys out for their first adventure. She's a smart little ewe, that girl.

Go ahead! You just tell me this isn't the most adorable lamb you've seen on a blog today!

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So anyway, here I sit. Pondering. It's all Savvycityfarmer's fault that I'm wondering if there will ever be a day I can snap the waist closed on those inspiration jeans. They've only been hanging there for what, six weeks? I ought to have shed a few pounds by now, but I haven't. I started out okay; bought a few carrots, went on a few long walks, and did some sit ups. But then I caught a cold, and who wants to do sit ups when they've got a cold? And everything was down hill from there.

Inspiration Jeans...are you as tired of seeing them on this hanger as I am?

But my jeans are still hanging where I see them every morning and every evening...in fact, every trip to the loo, as they hang over my tub (where I'm sure to notice them when I slip into my bubble bath...along with my not so slim waistline.) I'd hoped hanging them there would shame me into some progress, but it hasn't. Instead I've been stuffing my face with things such as Oreo cookies...although they weren't the double stuff, if that counts for anything.

Whilst skipping through blogland (I probably should have been skipping around the yard) I came across a site that was a Bloggie nominee; Fat Cyclist. It seemed like a blog I ought to at least peek at; perhaps it would be inspirational...more so than my jeans have proven to be. The guy's been cycling for a couple of years now and shed about 20 lbs. I think that's great! But I'd like to take those 20 off a bit quicker, so cycling probably won't be my weight loss method of choice. Plus, I've never been very good at balancing.

If I recall, my first bike was given to me when I was about six years old. It was red and shiny and pretty...and very dangerous. A person could get killed falling off one of those things! It had only two wheels, after all, and no strings to keep you upright. I was not getting on that. No way, no how.

But my father, the same man who later coaxed me into standing on treacherous, slippery rocks for a chance at a fish, also talked me into trying the bike. I'd get on, and he'd push, promising he wouldn't let go. He lied. I fell. They say I wouldn't have fallen if I hadn't looked over my shoulder to realize he'd let go, but I think they were lying about that, too.

My dad put in countless frustrating hours trying to get me upright on that bike. I'm not sure how long it took me to finally get the hang of it, but I never did enjoy it much. My parents would get their bikes out; there was one of those infant seats on the back of one of them for Little Hitler, and they'd stick me on my bike so we could do the family bike ride thing. It was like we were supposed to be Austrian, without Julie Andrews and the clothing made from curtains. It never sat well with me. It especially didn't sit well that Little Hitler got to ride in that little seat (oh, don't go giving me the 'she was only three' routine! I'm sure she had a trike.)

So as you can see, bicycling is probably not me weapon of choice against the poundage around my middle. Plus, then I'd be among those horrifying pedalists that people like me are always bowling for.

Cyclists pretending their pins in a bowling alley.

No, I'll need to come up with some other fashion of losing weight. Obviously, I'm not too good at sticking to exercise plans (the sit ups have failed so far), and I do love my sugar. The only thing I can think of that may work is personal humiliation. Yes...I think I'm going to go ahead and toss those numbers up on this blog for the whole danged world to see. But I am not going to post a picture of myself in a swimsuit, or even shorts, like those commercials on TV. Nope. Not going to happen. And really...you wouldn't want to see it!

I'm not going to update every day like the fat bicyclist does, but I'll try to do a once a week update. And you all have to keep me in line. If you should find me stuffing my face with oreos again, yell at me! Should you see my truck automatically hanging a right at the Dairy Queen...well...is it okay to have a blizzard now and then? NO! The answer is no! Don't let me do it! I'm assigning you the role of junk food police. Tomorrow I'll weigh myself and post it (ouch!) for everyone to see. And I'll also tell you my target weight. As soon as I actually get there, we'll celebrate, okay? Okay. Just keep me away from the oreo cookie isle.