Redneck Vampire Attacks Trailer Park

Photo Caption!

This photo will be used (most likely) in the Wild Horse Calendar, as well as on note cards and t-shirts. Winner gets a set of notecards; everyone who enters will have their name put into a drawing for the calendar once all the photos are selected.

This particular print is already on a Year at a Glance calendar, mugs and more at the Mustang Fever Store. Good luck!

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After picking Darling up from school this afternoon, we stopped at Dodson’s for a quick snack. Walking past the check out stands I spotted one of those…er…newspapers. You know the kind; Alien Invades Body of Kitten, or Giant Sea Turtle Eats Empire State Building. Today’s attention grabbing headline was Redneck Vampire Attacks Trailer Park. Which left Darling and I wondering, are all you rednecks out there okay?

Before becoming distracted by redneck vampires, Darling was telling me about her day at school. “Mom, those kids have the worst grammar. I was walking past this girl who was headed to the office. Someone was asking her why she was going there. You know what she said? ‘I ain’t got no period’.” I looked at Darling, who suddenly realized how that sentence sounded. “So, sounds like a poor choice of words as well as poor grammar,” I said as we walked past the redneck vampire headline.

Darling was now laughing. Yes, she agreed, it was a rather poor choice of words. “But it gets worse, Mom. Kids were asking me what my shirt said. And they hadn’t heard of STYX! Mom! They didn’t know who Styx was! Can you believe it? Next thing you know, they’ll be saying they’ve never heard of the Beatles or Elton John!” A travesty, to be sure. Darling has been spending far too much time in the company of her oldies loving, Grammar Nazi brother, it would appear, to fit in nicely with her peers.

We were disappointed to find that our favorite glass bottled sodas were out of stock and had to settle for the plastic variety. Darling wanted chips. “Off to the pitchfork isle!”

I wanna be a Redneck Vampire and attack a trailer park!

ps...have you noticed the counter? Less than 2000 hits to go. I'm building up the prize basket as you read this!

Dodson's IGA

We live in between towns. And by towns, perhaps I ought to clarify. One is a city; it comes complete with a mall and I-5 running through it's center. The other is...well...a hick town. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing the matter with a hick town. In fact, Darling is ready to move there.

The hick town in question has all the amenities one could want. At least, according to Darling. There's a post office, a gas station, a casino. I've never seen a fire truck there, but we did see Hick Town police officers dining at the greasy spoon, so there must be a police department. I'm not sure why they'd need more than just a few officers because the town is only five blocks long. I think Barney Fife could handle the job most days.

Darling loves hick towns. Darling loves Dodson's IGA even more!

Aside from these amenities, there is the grocery store. Dodson's IGA. Dodson's has been doing business out there for something like 100 years. Or maybe that's just how old the founder is? They have everything you could want at Dodson's. Need to pick up the makings for a salad? They've got the goods. Got a late night craving for some ice cream? No problem, their freezer is stocked with dozens of varieties. Need to dig a trench? You'll find shovels at Dodson's.

Darling loves Dodson's; she insists on stopping there nearly every afternoon after school. They've got a terrific selection of soft drinks there, and not just the kind in a can, either. No, you can get the real fancy stuff that comes in a glass bottle!

A couple months ago Darling and I decided we wanted to make some cheese. Trouble was, we didn't have any cheese cloth. I had to decide...did I want to run into the city? Or drive out to Dodson's and risk them not carrying cheese cloth. Darling looked at me like I was insane. Of course Dodson's would have cheese cloth, she insisted. So out we drove. We looked all over the bloomin' store for the cheese cloth. I couldn't figure out where they'd put it; the store isn't organized like your usual grocery. Then again, your usual grocery doesn't carry shovels. We finally asked, and found the cheese cloth in the tool isle. If you ever stop there and need cheese cloth, you'll find it next to the paint brushes, just beneath the screw drivers. Should you be an electrician, Dodson's will carry tape for you. I think it's next to the produce. Duct tape? Across from the jam. Or somewhere in that area.

The other day Darling and I stopped to grab a bag of chips on our way through Hick Town. "I wonder where they keep the chips?" asked Darling. "Probably across from the pitch forks, " I said with a chuckle. Darling nodded, "Makes sense." I'm not sure how it made sense. I had no clue where the pitchforks were, but Darling headed down the isle, found the pitchforks and did an about face. Potato Chips! Darling smiled, and said, "Mom, can we get a pitchfork while we're here?"

And to be honest, I never thought I'd be buying a pitchfork at the grocery store...but hey, it's a Hick Town!